Gaming Guru

Jest for Fun

You can't win. We have attack dogs that protect our money and attack casinos that take it away.

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Overheard in a casino bar: "I wouldn't exactly say the slot I played this morning was dead. Maybe in a deep coma."

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Next to knowing when a hot streak starts is knowing when to walk away when it stops.

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It may be that the race is not always to the swiftest, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. (Damon Runyon)

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In the world-class art museum at the Bellagio Casino on the Las Vegas Strip, a seven-year-old child gazed in awe at a reproduction of Winged Victory. "Look at that, mommy, that lady has no head."

"Sh-h-h" said the mother. "That's art. She doesn't need a head."

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The positive thinker in a casino is a person who has nothing to worry about because he ends up having nothing to worry about.

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He: "I left the casino I worked in because I was told to do something I didn't like."

She: "What was that?"

He: "Look for another job."