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Gaming Guru

 

Jest for Fun

10 May 2004

A slot-playing session should be like pie crust - the shorter the better.

* * * * *

A panhandler hit on a man hurrying out of an Atlantic City casino for a handout. "Sorry," said the man, "but I'm in a big hurry. I'll give you something when I come back."

"You can't do that!" exclaimed the panhandler. "You just don't know how much money I've already lost giving credit to people I don't know."

* * * * *

People would be surprised how much I learned about prayer from playing poker.

* * * * *

The clerk in a jewelry store in a casino mall was trying to sell a lady an eight-day clock. He told her how reliable it was, and that it could run for eight days without winding. The lady was impressed, then said, "And how long would it run if you wound it?"

* * * * *

If at first you don't succeed at your game, that makes you about average.

* * * * *

Did you hear the one about the Alaskan who hit a multi-million jackpot on Megabucks? Back home, he bought a dog sled for $80. But what a sled! It's pulled by ten Cadillacs.

* * * * *

What's worse than playing at a cold slot? Playing at two cold slots.

* * * * *

One of the worst things you can do is to take your wife to the race track. If you lose, she gets mad. If you win, she gets half.

* * * * *

A woman was sitting next to a Texan at a casino bar. Curious about his wealth, she said, "I suppose you have a lot of oil wells." "No," said the Texan.

"Oh, then you go in for cattle?" she asked. "No," he said. "No cattle."

"How much land do you own?" she asked. "Oh, about 35 acres," he said.

"Only 35 acres? That's not much of a ranch," she said. "What do they call it?"

"Right now, ma'am, they call it downtown Dallas."

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: