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Gaming Guru

 

Jest For Fun

27 January 2002

A panhandler on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City stops a man coming out of a casino. "Have you got money for a cup of coffee, mister?"

"No, I'm sorry I don't," said the man. "But don't worry. I'll get along.

* * * * *

A woman played roulette for hours, losing all her money. In one final desperate move, she put her three-year old son on 17 red. Needless to say, she lost. But that didn't stop her. Two hours later, she was home making new chips.

* * * * *

There's this story about a bookie who had his name changed to Red Cross--just so his customers' losses would be tax deductible.

* * * * *

A man at an Atlantic City casino bar said to the man sitting next to him, "I see that two cocktails are delivered to your room every morning, as if you had someone to drink with."

"Yes, sir," said the second man. "I do. One cocktail makes me feel like another man. And, of course, I have to buy a drink for the other man."

* * * * *

A slot host tried to console a player who was losing heavily. "Don't worry," she said. "Your ship is bound to come in." "Well," said the player. "It better hurry. My pier is collapsing."

* * * * *

A tourist sits down at a slot next to a local Las Vegan. "I wouldn't play that slot, if I were you," said the Las Vegan. "It's dead." "Oh, that's OK," said the tourist. "I'm an undertaker."

* * * * *

A minister told his flock that he had a "call" to go to another church. One of the deacons, who was a gambler, asked the minister how much money he was offered. "Three hundred dollars," was the reply.

"Well, I don't blame you," the deacon said. "But that's not really a call. It's a raise."

* * * * *

Two elderly ladies were on their first airplane flight from New York to Las Vegas. Halfway to the Las Vegas airport, the pilot's voice came over the intercom.

"The No. I engine is out, folks, but don't worry. The other three engines will carry us safely to our destination. But we'll be about 30 minutes late."

In another few minutes, came this message from the pilot, "The No. 2 engine is on fire, but it's under control. We'll now be 60 minutes late."

A little while later they heard, "No. 3 engine just fell off. But don't worry. We can make it on engine No. 4. We'll now be two hours late."

At this point, one of the elderly ladies said to the other, "I certainly hope they don't lose engine No. 4. We'll be up here all day."

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: