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Jest For Fun

The track opened today. So I went out and bet $20 on the very first race.

What can I say?

If Paul Revere had ridden this nag, we'd still be under British rule.

* * * * *

There is a store on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City that sells a topless and bottomless bathing suit. It comes in an empty box that sells for $23.

* * * * *

There never was a gambling system, however foolish, that didn't have its advocates.

* * * * *

Here's a news bulletin that appeared in the Las Vegas Sun:

"At 10 a.m. today, a masked man held up the patrons in a local laundromat. But in spite of every attempt by the Vegas police to catch the holdup man, he made a clean getaway."

* * * * *

Chance does nothing that has not been prepared beforehand.

* * * * *

"Doctor, doctor, since my husband came back from Las Vegas, he thinks he's a silver dollar."

"Well, bring him in," said the doctor. "I think I can change him."

* * * * *

Rich? The casinos don't count their money. They measure it.

* * * * *

The difference between winning and losing in a casino is... Plenty!

* * * * *

Two casino employees are watching the play at a blackjack table. One says to the other, "See that player in the blue suit? He's half a millionaire."

"What do you mean?" asked his companion.

"He has the aire, but not the million."