Gaming Guru

Jest For Fun

Luck, like a ghost, eludes touching. It's always somewhere else, not where you are.

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I found out why casino credit managers consider a line of credit a personal loan. I missed three payments and, boy, did they get personal.

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Overheard in the Luxor casino in Las Vegas: "What is the definition of a mummy? An Egyptian who was pressed for time."

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A truck driver stops at a Las Vegas diner for lunch. After being served a bowl of chili, he starts eating, then stops. "Hey," he yells to the waiter. "There's a fly in my chili!" "That's funny," said the waiter. "There were two of them when I left the kitchen."

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Ask your bankroll what denomination slot machine you should play.

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Playing slots is great for people who want to give up smoking because it gives them something else to do...lose!

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Man speaking with a friend. "Whenever my wife and I go to Atlantic City, I carry a rabbit's foot in my pocket. It saves me a lot of money."

"Why is that?" asked the friend.

"Well, every time she sticks her hand in my pocket, she thinks it's a mouse."

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The U.N. is like a slot machine in Las Vegas. You keep feeding it, but it never pays off.

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It's better to hear "quit while you're ahead" than "you should have quit while you were behind."

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An Englishman who toured the U.S. was telling his friends back home how great America is. He said, "Chicago took my breath away. New York stole my heart away. And Las Vegas got me for $1000 in travelers checks."