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Jest for Fun

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Here's a story slot players should take to heart: Once there was a little baby cabbage who said to his mother, "Mommy I'm worried about something. As I sit in this row of cabbages and grow and grow day after day, how will I know when to stop growing?"

"The rule to follow," mommy cabbage said, "is to quit when you're a head."

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A. "When Bill got home from his weekend in Las Vegas, he lit a cigarette with a $100 bill."

B. "Wow! He did? He must have hit it big."

A. "No. It was just a bill from his dentist. He said he had no intention of paying it."

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Bookkeeper to boss: "I'll have to have a raise, sir. There are three companies after me."

Boss: "Is that so? What companies?"

Bookkeeper: "Gas, light, and Harrah's"

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Husband: "We can't afford to go to Atlantic City on our budget."

Wife: "I have an idea how we can go."

Husband: "How?"

Wife: "Have two budgets."

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Joe: "You took your girlfriend to Las Vegas and lost $1500?"

Bill: "Yeah. That's all she had."

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A Kentucky mountain hillbilly visiting Atlantic City was rushed to a hospital complaining of sharp stomach pains.

Doctor: "What did you eat at your last meal?"

Hillbilly: "Well, it could have been those lobsters."

Doctor: "Were they fresh?"

Hillbilly: "I don't know. How can you tell?"

Doctor: "What did they look like when you opened their shells?"

Hillbilly: "You're supposed to open the shells?"