Gaming Guru

Jest For Fun

Wise gamblers start their bets low and increase them only when winning. When losing, they either decrease their bets or quit. This is one key secret of successful gamblers.

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It's a wondrous age we're living in. We have two things that are self-cleaning - ovens and the casinos.

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The best way to make your dreams come true in a casino is to wake up.

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A lady slot player was completely wiped out. Didn't have a cent left in her purse. So she goes up to a man she sees hitting it big at a slot and says to him, "Excuse me, sir, but can you help a woman in trouble?"

"Sure," said the man. "What kind of trouble do you want to get into?"

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The less one loses, the more time he has to lose.

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School board member to an applicant for a teaching position in the Las Vegas University: "Do you teach that gambling is good or bad?"

"Well, with my years of experience," said the applicant, "I can teach it either way."

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There's only one segment of society that thinks more about money than the casino. The poor.

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What do gamblers think when they see the three balls in front of a pawn shop?

Two to one you don't get it back.