Gaming Guru

Jest for Fun

Joe: "Is your wife a good bridge player?"

Tim: "No. She's awful! You can tell by the expression on her face how she's going to play."

Joe: "Poker face?"

Tim: "No, but I sometimes feel like it."

* * * * *

Disgruntled patron to slot host, "You told me when I arrived how loose your slots were.

Now tell me once again. I'm getting discouraged."

* * * * *

A man approaches a clerk in a casino mall lingerie shop.

Man: "I'd like to buy a present for my wife."
Clerk: "Can I interest you in something in silk stockings."
Man: "Well, let's see about the present first."

* * * * *

A wise old gambler was asked, "When do you quit playing a slot machine?" His reply, "When you haven't begun to play, and when you haven't any money left."

* * * * *

A. "My wife is a hard loser."
B. "Why? Did she lose a bundle in a casino?"
A. "No. She has trouble staying on her diet."

* * * * *

All those family-oriented casinos in Las Vegas have the same requirement: Kids under 12 must be accompanied by their daddy and money.