Gaming Guru

Jest for Fun

A. "Do you keep half of the money you win?"

B. "No. I usually don't win that much."

* * *

A lady tourist asks a hotel check-in clerk what's a good floor to sleep on.

"Lady," said the clerk, "if you're going to sleep on the floor, they're all the same."

* * *

The big Megabucks jackpot winner was complaining to her accountant about the amount of tax she had to pay on her winnings.

"Well, now," said the accountant. "We must all learn to pay our taxes with a smile."

"I wish I could," said the big winner. "But the IRS insists on money."

* * *

Joe: "You took your girlfriend to Las Vegas and lost $1500?"

Bill: "Yeah. That's all she had."

* * *

In Nevada, where prostitution is legal, the definition of a madam is "for whom the belles toil."

* * *

A blackjack dealer and a player with a l3 count in his hand were arguing about whether it was appropriate to tip the dealer. "When I get bad hands, " said the player, "it's not the dealer's fault. And when I get good hands, the dealer has nothing to do with it. So why should I tip him?"

"Well," said the dealer, "when you eat out, don't you tip the waiter? "

"Yes," said the player.

"Well, the waiter serves you food and I serve you cards, so you should tip me."

"OK," said the player, "but the waiter gives me what I want. And I'll take an eight."