Gaming Guru

Jest For Fun

Two men are talking. "My job makes me get up as soon as the first light of the sun comes into my room" said the first man.

"Isn't that rather early?" asked the second man.

"No," said the first. "My room faces west. I'm on the casino night shift."

* * * * *

A tourist in Las Vegas asks a native, "What's the quickest way to get to the emergency hospital?"

"Just stand in the middle of the road," said the Las Vegan.

* * * * *

A wiped-out poker player sat disconsolately on a bench on the Boardwalk in Atlantic City with another occupant.

Man #1 (heaving a sigh): "I wish I were dead."

Man #2: "With the luck I've had so far, I wish I could feel that good."

* * * * *

A girl was describing her favorite brother to a friend.

Girl: "Green grass doesn't grow under his feet."

Friend: "A go-getter, eh?"

Girl: "No, he's a lifeguard at a casino swimming pool."

* * * * *

"My wife says if I don't stop going to casinos and gambling, she's going to leave me."

"Gee, that's too bad."

"Yes, I'll miss her."

* * * * *

A supervisor at the Mirage Casino in Las Vegas saw a new member of the lion cage cleanup crew standing before a lion's cage with a broom.

Supervisor: "Why aren't you in there cleaning out that cage? There's no need to be afraid. Didn't I tell you that when a lion wags its tail it's friendly."

Crew member: "Yes, but he was wagging his tail and roaring at the same time."

Supervisor: "Well, what's that got to do with it?"

Crew member: "It's just that I don't know which end to believe."