Gaming Guru

Jest For Fun

Math teacher to gambler's son: If your father had $300 and a friend asked him for a loan of $200, how much would your father have left?"

Gambler's son: "Three hundred dollars."

* * * * *

A. "My brother is a panhandler in Las Vegas."

B. "What? I thought the city council outlawed panhandling on the sidewalk in front of casinos."

A. "That's true. But my brother works as a nurse in the hospital."

* * * * *

During World War II some GIs were playing poker in a British sub with some of the local men. One of the British players picked up his hand and said, "Ill wager a pound."

A GI looked at his hand, which had four aces. He said, "I don't know much about your money, but I'll see your pound and raise you a ton."

* * * * *

In a family-oriented casino in Las Vegas, a woman hurries over to a security guard and says, "Excuse me, sir, buy my daughter just swallowed a quarter and has to get to a hospital. Can I trust the hospital staff in this city?"

"Lady," said the guard, "For a quarter, who'd be mean enough to steal from a kid?"

* * * * *

A casino in Las Vegas once offered its patrons the opportunity to join the casino's Xmas club.

It didn't last. No one could keep up with the dues.

* * * * *

A man tripped and fell on the sidewalk in front of a casino in Atlantic City and suffered a minor injury.

"It's pretty lucky for you that you tripped in front of a casino," said a witness. "Now you can sue the casino director for thousands."

"I can't," said the accident victim.

"Why not?" asked the witness.

"Because I'm the casino director."