Gaming Guru

Jest For Fun

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A lady slot player hits the service button on the slot she's playing to summon a slot attendant.

"What's the trouble, lady?" asked the attendant.

"Well, for one thing," said the lady, "it's a lousy slot."

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Common sense of all kinds is the most uncommon in a casino.

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A small boy came running after a man who left a casino. Breathing heavily, he said to the man, "Excuse me, sir but did you lose a silver dollar?"

"Yes, I believe I have," said the man. "Have you found one?"

"Oh, no," said the boy. "I just wanted to find out how many have been lost today. Yours makes 55."

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He who allows himself to lose heavily in a casino deserves to lose.

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The term "professional gambler" is a misnomer. Professional gamblers don't gamble. They make investments that show a profit over time.

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The one advantage of being a loser in a casino is you never get lonely.

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Overheard in a casino bar: "It's easy to quit slot playing. I've done it dozens of times."

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The following message was announced over the casino's public address system: "Will Mr. Neidspondiavanis please report to the customer service desk." A man reports to the service desk and says, "Excuse me, but I think you paged me. What initial do you have with the name?"