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Gaming Guru

 

Jest For Fun

30 December 2002

He: "Did you hear what happened in the casino?"
She: "No, what?"
He: "An elderly man at a blackjack table won a big pot, but the excitement was too much for him. He fell to the floor and died.
She: "Oh, how sad."
He: "Not only that. He broke his glasses too."

* * * * *

A lady slot player hits the service button on the slot she's playing to summon a slot attendant.

"What's the trouble, lady?" asked the attendant.

"Well, for one thing," said the lady, "it's a lousy slot."

* * * * *

Common sense of all kinds is the most uncommon in a casino.

* * * * *

A small boy came running after a man who left a casino. Breathing heavily, he said to the man, "Excuse me, sir but did you lose a silver dollar?"

"Yes, I believe I have," said the man. "Have you found one?"

"Oh, no," said the boy. "I just wanted to find out how many have been lost today. Yours makes 55."

* * * * *

He who allows himself to lose heavily in a casino deserves to lose.

* * * * *

The term "professional gambler" is a misnomer. Professional gamblers don't gamble. They make investments that show a profit over time.

* * * * *

The one advantage of being a loser in a casino is you never get lonely.

* * * * *

Mary: "So you and Bill aren't going to Reno this year?"
Helen: "No, it's Las Vegas we're not going to. It was Reno we didn't go to last year.

* * * * *

Overheard in a casino bar: "It's easy to quit slot playing. I've done it dozens of times."

* * * * *

The following message was announced over the casino's public address system: "Will Mr. Neidspondiavanis please report to the customer service desk." A man reports to the service desk and says, "Excuse me, but I think you paged me. What initial do you have with the name?"

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: