Gaming Guru

Jest For Fun

Daffynishion of a pawnbroker in Las Vegas: One who lives off the flat of the land.

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A: "Did you hear the new casino Chumps R Us song?"

B. "No, how does it go?"

A. "Everything I have is yours....

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The great advantage of a casino hotel room is that it's a refuge from home life.

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An ounce of common sense in a casino is worth a ton of luck.

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He: "If you love slot machines so much, how come you never win?"

She: "Alas, love is blind."

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Hope is the greatest compliment we pay to luck.

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A slot system isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.

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Husband to wife: "Let's take a municipal bus to the Bellagio on the Strip."

"No way," said the wife. "The last time I rode in one of these Vegas buses, there was an accident and I was almost killed."

"Oh," said the husband. "Give them another chance."

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No folly is more costly than the folly of positive thinking in a casino.

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Four men, one minus an eye, were playing poker in an Old West saloon. Suddenly, one player pulled out a .45 and said, "I ain't callin' no names, but the next guy I see dealin' from the bottom of the deck, I'm gonna shoot the other eye out."