Gaming Guru

Jest for Fun

I once knew a gambler who was a real loser. He lost his job, home, and wife as a result of his gambling. He believed in reincarnation. So one night he took an overdose of sleeping pills. His bad luck still held. He came back as himself.

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When it comes to giving casino comps, the pit boss stops at nothing.

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Some of the off-the-strip restaurants will do anything to get business. I visited one where they had waitresses wearing topless outfits. I'm against it, but my wife didn't believe me.

"You're against waitresses wearing topless outfits?" my wife asked.

"Sure am," I said. "It's bad enough when they put their fingers in your soup."

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All table players should have a little respect for the pit boss. And most players do.

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A concerned wife finally persuaded her gambling husband to visit a doctor for a checkup. On the day of the appointment, they went together to the doctor's office. As they were about to enter the office, the husband suddenly cried, "I'm not going in there. Not to that doctor!"

"Why? What's wrong?" asked the wife.

"Just look at the odds against me," said the husband pointing to the sign on the doctor's office door. 'Nine to four!'"

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A psychology teacher asks a gambler's son, "What is the name given to people who are the victims of false and unrealistic beliefs?"

Gambler's on: "Slot machine players."

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One gambler's son was precocious. By the time he was two he could count from two to king.

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A tourist at a casino hotel registration desk asks a clerk, "What have you got good in a room?"

"A blonde in 315," said the clerk.