Gaming Guru

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Jest for Fun

Sign seen written on men's room wall in a Las Vegas casino:

"It's only a gambling problem if you're losing."

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Math teacher to gambler's son, "Billy, tell the class how much is two and two."

Billy: "Snake eyes."

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The Flamingo Casino in Las Vegas was built by the notorious mobster Bugsy Siegel. Among the newspaper ads he considered using to advertise the casino was the following: "You are invited to the fabulous Flamingo. Come in, have fun, make no trouble, and you won't get hurt."

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"You're cheating," the card dealer said to one of the players.

"No, I'm not," said the player.

"You must be," said the dealer. "You're not playing the cards I dealt you."

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A positive attitude in the casino is the feeling you have before you know better.

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Reno is a better place to be in winter than in Las Vegas. When it gets cold in Reno, you can go to Las Vegas. But when it gets cold in Las Vegas, where can you go?

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A riverboat casino encountered rough weather with large waves and heavy listing to and fro. A passenger was leaning against a rail, green with sickness.

"Can I get you anything?" a crewman asked solicitously.

"Yes," said the ailing passenger. "How about dry land?"

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If you have luck when you enter a casino, you won't need anything else. If you don't have it, it won't matter what else you have.