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Gaming GuruJest for Fun4 June 2011
Many casinos have a small sign near the cashier's cage that says, "If you have a gambling problem call 1-800-Gamblers." A blackjack player wrote down the number and dialed it on his return home. The phone rang, and the player heard,"Gambler's Anonymous. How can I help you?" The blackjack player said, " I have a 2 and a 6 against the dealer's 10. What should I do?" * * * * * Those topless showgirls in Las Vegas are great goodwill ambassadors for America. They show foreign visitors what American women are made of. * * * * * A professional gambler was being cross-examined by a defense attorney. "Are you sure about the accuracy of what you just said?" shouted the defense attorney at the gambler. "Yes," said the gambler, "I'm sure." "Would you bet a thousand dollars on the truth of that statement?" demanded the lawyer. The gambler thought a moment, then said, "Yes, I would. That is, of course, if I could get the right odds." * * * * * In a restaurant at the Paris Las Vegas casino, a customer asked a newly arrived waiter from France, "Where's the menu?" The waiter who barely spoke English said, "Down ze hall and two doors to ze left." * * * * * A tourist wading in the beach at Atlantic City was stung by a jellyfish and cried out in pain, "A jellyfish bit me in the leg!" "Which one?" asked a solicitous lifeguard. "I don't know," said the tourist. "All jellyfish look alike." * * * * * A psychology teacher asks a gambler's son, "What is the name given to people who are the victims of false and unrealistic beliefs?" Gambler's son: "Slot machine players." * * * * * Ninety percent of the gamblers you see on the casino floor are in the same boat -- the Titanic. * * * * * Mary: "Were you excited when you won $2000 at the slots?" Jean: "Oh, no. I was cool, calm, and collected." * * * * * Old Gambler's Saying: You have the same chance of hitting the jackpot on Megabucks whether you play it or not. This article is provided by the Frank Scoblete Network. Melissa A. Kaplan is the network's managing editor. If you would like to use this article on your website, please contact Casino City Press, the exclusive web syndication outlet for the Frank Scoblete Network. To contact Frank, please e-mail him at fscobe@optonline.net. Recent Articles
Larry Mak |
Larry Mak |