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Gaming Guru

 

Jest for Fun

9 July 2011

A man who played poker with Siamese twins was asked, "Did you win?"

"Yes and no," the man replied.

* * * * *

A slot player down to her last dollar took a shot at Megabucks.
Missed it.

* * * * *

A deceased debt collector knocked on the gates of hell and asked Satan for permission to enter.

"Why do you wish to come in here?" asked Satan.

Collector: "I just want to collect some gambling debts from welshers who died before I could collect."

Satan: "How do you know they're down here?"

Collector: "Well, every time I tried to collect, this is the place everyone told me to go."

* * * * *

A woman patient to doctor: "Every time I play slot machines for an hour I become dizzy. But when the hour has passed, I feel OK. What do you recommend?"

Doctor: "Play for only 59 minutes."

* * * * *

An optimist is one who goes into a casino.
A pessimist is one who won't.
A cynic is one who did.

* * * * *

Wife to husband: "Today I'd like to go to a casino and do something I've never done before."

Husband: "What's that, dear?"

Wife: "Win."

* * * * *

An elderly man phoned a casino and asked to speak with the casino manager.

Manager: "Hello. How can I help you?"

Man: "Can I please speak with your slot host, Tim Carson. I'm his grandfather."

Manager: "Sorry, he's not here. He's at your funeral."

* * * * *

My father-in-law's ship finally came in. He hit a Megabucks jackpot for $500,000, and the IRS helped him unload it.

* * * * *

A reporter asked the manager of a Las Vegas casino whether there was any truth to the rumor that organized crime still had a hand in casino operations.

"Why, that's ridiculous!" exclaimed the casino manager. "Isn't it?, Little Louie."

* * * * *

Old Gambler's Saying: If you can't afford to lose, don't bet on a sure thing.

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: