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Gaming Guru

 

Jest for Fun

3 September 2011

Two slot machines got married in one of those quickie Las Vegas wedding chapels. Three months later, Mrs. slot snuggled up to her husband and whispered, "Honey, I think I'm overdue."

* * * * *

A teacher giving a class on modern inventions asks a gambler's son, "Billy, can you think of anything of importance that didn't exist ten years ago?"

Billy: "Video slots."

* * * * *

A man was playing a slot machine at 3:00 a.m. in a quiet corner of a casino. Suddenly he felt a chill and looked around. He was startled to see a ghost in a red dress pointing to a slot and saying, "Play that machine over there."

The man jumped up and ran to the security desk, telling the security guard what he saw.

"Was the ghost wearing a red dress?" asked the guard.

'Yes!" exclaimed the frightened player.

"Oh, don't pay any attention to her," said the guard. "She didn't have any luck playing slots when she was alive."

* * * * *

I know why those airport snack shops call them 100% beef hot dogs. Because when people find out how much they cost, 100% of them beef.

* * * * *

At a fashionable casino hotel in Biloxi, Mississippi, a conscientious desk clerk telephoned one of the guests and said, "I beg your pardon, Miss, but is there a gentleman in your room?"

"I don't know," was the young lady's reply. "Wait a moment. I'll ask him."

* * * * *

A. "My brother's name is Caesars Palace."

B. "What? What kind of a name is that for a person?"

A. "Well, he wants his name to be the same as the one on his towels."

* * * * *

A man goes up to the VIP check-in counter at a Reno casino. "Get in that line over there," ordered the reservation clerk.

"But I'm a VIP," said the man, "and I don't have to stand in line."

"I know that," said the clerk. "That's the line for people who don't have to stand in line to check in."

* * * * *

Mother to daughter: "I don't like your going to Las Vegas to marry the millionaire you're engaged to. I really believe you'd be happier with a man with less money."

"Don't worry, mom. You'll soon have your wish."

* * * * *

Did you hear about the casino restaurant on the moon?

Great food. But no atmosphere.

* * * * *

At one of those family oriented casinos in Las Vegas, a 7-year-old girl asked her mother, "Mommy, where are the SOB slots?"

The mother thought a moment, then said, "Oh, they just bring out those slots when daddy plays."

Old Gambler's Saying: Slot machines are all alike. But in a different way.

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: