Gaming Guru

Jest for Fun

Joe and Bill are conventioneers in Las Vegas.

Joe: "How's your luck?"

Bill: "Well, it's the same old story. One day I win. One day I lose."

Joe: Then why don't you just play every other day?"

* * * * *

A business executive rolls into his office after a big weekend in Atlantic City. "Get me my broker, Miss Smith."

Miss Smith: "Stock or pawn?"

* * * * *

Overheard at a track: "I'm a horse follower, But the horses I follow always end up following other horses."

* * * * *

Joe: "You took your girlfriend to Las Vegas and lost $1500?"

Tom: "Yeah, that's all she had."

* * * * *

A well-known critic of literary fiction during a visit to a casino was asked, "Which of the works of fiction do you consider the best?"

The critic thought a moment, then said, "The payout tables on the slot machines."

* * * * *

A Sunday school teacher in Reno was describing heaven in glowing terms to a class of sixth-grade students. When finished she asked how many wanted to go to heaven. Every pupil in the class put up his hand, except one--a gambler's son. The teacher said, "Johnny, don't you want to go to heaven?"

"Yes," said Johnny, "but not with this bunch of losers.

* * * * *

Q. "Why was the Invisible Man depressed?

A. "He won $2000 at roulette. But because he had no photo ID they wouldn't pay him."

* * * * *

Slot host to heavy loser: "Cheer up. Dame Fortune will come knocking at your door one of these days."

"Well," said the loser, "she'll really have to knock. Her daughter, Miss Fortune, broke the bell."

* * * * *

During a roulette session a fly happened to land on 34 red. Taking this as a good luck omen, a player put all he had on this number. The wheel spun, and the ball landed on 17 black. "Too bad," a fellow player said. "It must have been a house fly."

* * * * *

Old Gambler's Saying: In poker a good deal depends on luck. And luck depends on a good deal.