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Gaming Guru

 

Jest for Fun

12 November 2011

A public announcement heard over a casino's loudspeaker: "Will the player who lost a $100 bill ten minutes ago please form a line at the cashier's cage."

* * * * *

Little Joey pestered his father into taking him to the zoo. "How did you like the zoo, Joey?" asked his mother when they returned home.

"Great!" replied Joey. "And daddy liked it too. Especially when one of the animals came racing home at 20 to 1."

* * * * *

A. "I hear they're looking for a casino cage cashier at the Flamingo Hilton."

B. "Really? I thought they hired one a month ago."

A. "They did. That's the one they're looking for."

* * * * *

A gambler's son is being quizzed by a history teacher.

Teacher: "Billy, what is a monarchy?"

Billy: "A people governed by a king."

Teacher: "And who would reign if the king died?"

Billy: "The queen."

Teacher: "And who would reign if the queen died?

Billy: "The jack."

* * * * *

A psychologist said that slot machines and sex have a lot in common. Both give you something to do with your hands.

* * * * *

Waiter: "Would you like your coffee black, sir?"

Customer: "What other colors do you have?"

* * * * *

Mary: "Did you say your husband lost over $1200 at the tables?"

Jean: "That's right"

Mary: "What did he say when he got home?"

Jean: "Shall I leave out all the four-letter words?"

Mary: "Yes."

Jean: "He didn't say anything."

* * * * *

A tourist spots a friend playing slots in an Atlantic City casino.

Tourist: "Hey, Bill, nice seeing you. How's your luck?"

Bill: "Rotten. Really rotten."

Tourist: "Too bad. And how's your wife?"

Bill: "About the same."

* * * * *

At a casino I lost so heavily I had to sell a car in the casino parking lot. And the people at Hertz are real mad.

* * * * *

A gambler's son asked his dad: "Pop, can I have an ice cream?"

"Shut up, son, and finish your beer."

* * * * *

Old Gambler's Saying: Nothing new ever happens in a casino. Just the same old things. Only to different people.

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: