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Gaming Guru

 

Jest for Fun

10 December 2011

Two men overheard at a bathing beauty contest in Atlantic City:

"How do you like bathing beauties?"

"Can't say. Haven't bathed any."

* * * * *

I couldn't decide whether to spend my vacation in Las Vegas or Atlantic City. So I flipped a coin. On the 10th toss Las Vegas won.

* * * * *

Did you hear about the blackjack player who made a killing in Reno?

He shot a pit boss.

* * * * *

I go to Laughlin now and then for laughs. On my last trip I laughed away $1200.

* * * * *

It's kind of dangerous having seniors wait at certain pickup points for a free ride to a casino. One little old lady was picked up three times for school and once for garbage.

* * * * *

A man was playing craps and beating the table. After his tenth roll he said to his wife, "Honey, tonight you're going to sleep with the richest man in Las Vegas." But his luck ran out, and he lost roll after roll. Finally his wife said, "Tell me, dear, is he coming to my room or do I go to his?"

* * * * *

Did you hear about the latest million-dollar jackpot of the West Virginia state lottery?

The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.

* * * * *

A church bazaar volunteer goes up to a man and says, "We're having a raffle for a poor widow? Would you like to buy a ticket?"

"I'm afraid not," said the man. "Even if I won, my wife wouldn't let me keep her."

* * * * *

A lady tourist asks a hotel check-in clerk, "What's the best floor to sleep on?"

"Lady," said the clerk, "if you're going to sleep on the floor they're all the same."

* * * * *

The minister was preaching to a young congregation about the fate of two brothers. One brother chose the path of crime and ended up in prison. The other became a famous lawyer. "Now, who can tell me the difference between these two brothers who embarked upon life's stormy seas?"

"That's easy," said a gambler's son. "One got caught."

* * * * *

Old Gambler's Saying: The casino. A place where nothing ventured, nothing lost.

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: