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Gaming Guru

 

Jest for Fun

4 February 2012

Q. What's the difference between a church bell and a casino?

A. A church bell peals from the steeple.

* * * * *

I stopped to eat at a restaurant in downtown Atlantic City. And what a cheap joint it was. When I asked the waiter for a menu, he said that someone else was using it.

* * * * *

"My husband has taken up hiking as a result of his job."

"Really? What does he do?"

"He's a casino debt collector. And that's what everyone tells him to do."

* * * * *

A man sitting at a table in a swank casino restaurant lets out a loud belch. A man sitting at a nearby table with his wife glares at him and says angrily, "How dare you belch before my wife?"

"I'm sorry," said the belcher. "I didn't know she wanted to go first."

* * * * *

A gambler could finally afford to hire a maid to help his wife around the house.

"You don't like the new maid, do you?" the mother asked her little boy one day.

"I hate her!" screamed the boy. "I'd like to grab and bite her on the neck like daddy does!"

* * * * *

"An anecdote is a tale," said an English teacher. She then asked a gambler's son to use the word in a sentence.

Gambler's son: "I tied a can to a dog's anecdote and watched it run."

* * * * *

It's said that gambling brings only misery. But after a few big wins, you can afford it.

* * * * *

A truck driver stops at a Lake Tahoe diner for lunch and orders a bowl of chili. After eating a few spoonfuls of the chili, he angrily yells to the waiter, "Hey, there's a fly in this chili!"

"That's funny," said the waiter. "There were two of them when I left the the kitchen."

* * * * *

"Why do you call your wife Cinderella when you're in a casino?"

"Because by the time midnight comes around I have to slipper some money."

* * * * *

A holdup man walks into a bank in the Chinese section of Atlantic City. Aiming a gun at teller, he orders, "Give me all your money!"

"To go?" asks the teller.

Old Gambler's Saying: A Las Vegas wedding chapel is the place where some men take a girl to be their awful wedded wife.

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: