CasinoCityTimes.com

Gurus
News
Newsletter
Author Home Author Archives Author Books Send to a Friend Search Articles Subscribe
Stay informed with the
NEW Casino City Times newsletter!
Newsletter Signup
Stay informed with the
NEW Casino City Times newsletter!
Recent Articles

Gaming Guru

 

Jest for Fun

3 March 2012

A jogger in a park near Lake Tahoe heard a woman's scream for help. He rushed over to the woman to find that her son had swallowed a dime. Quickly the jogger grabbed the little boy by the heels and shook him upside down until the dime fell to the ground.

"Oh, doctor," said the woman, "it certainly was lucky you happened by. You knew just how to get the dime out of my son."

"I'm not a doctor," said the jogger. "I'm a casino credit manager."

* * * * *

Sign seen above entrance to a casino:

WHY GO TO ANY OTHER CASINO TO LOSE MONEY? COME HERE FIRST!

* * * * *

A math teacher asks a gambler's son, "If a number of cattle is called a herd, and a number of sheep a flock, what would a number of camels be called?"

Gambler's son: "A carton."

* * * * *

Hotel guest in Reno: "Boy, the bellhops in the casinos here love to earn tips. I ordered a deck of cards, and this bellhop made 52 trips."

* * * * *

It's been said that money is the root of all evil. But in the casino it's the lack of it.

* * * * *

Curvaceous Las Vegas showgirl talking to wealthy high roller: "Excuse me. But how much did you say your name was?"

* * * * *

Taking a break, a slot player was walking along the beach in Atlantic City. He saw a bottle on the beach and picked it up. To his amazement, a genie popped out.

"You have one wish, friend," said the genie. "What is it?"

The slot player thought a moment, then said, "I want to be the smartest player in Atlantic City."

"Your wish is granted," said the genie. "Now close your eyes and count to 10." When the player opened his eyes, he found himself on a bus headed home.

* * * * *

Then there's the story about the trapeze artist in the Circus Circus casino. He caught his wife in the act.

* * * * *

A slot mechanic was injured on the job and missed several weeks of work. His boss called him at home one day to ask how he was doing.

"Good and bad," said the slot mechanic.

Boss: "I don't understand."

Slot mechanic: "Well, the doctor said I could do without my crutches. But my lawyer says I can't."

* * * * *

Most gamblers make a casino glad twice. When they win. And when they give it all back.

* * * * *

A wealthy high roller in Las Vegas was asked, "How does an eighty-year-old geezer like you get such a sexy young showgirl to marry you?"

"I told her I was ninety."

Old Gambler's Saying: Bad luck isn't all bad. It's what keeps casinos in business.

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: