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Gaming Guru

 

Jest for Fun

14 July 2012

A sexy lady walks up to a craps table and tells the dealer she wants to make a $5000 bet on a single roll of the dice.

"No problem, lady," said the dealer.

"Just one more thing," said the lady. "I feel much better when I play naked."

The dealer called the pit boss over, and he approved the lady's request. After undressing, the lady rolled the dice and hit her point. And gathering up her winnings and clothes she quickly left.

"Did you see what she rolled?" asked the dealer.

"No," said the pit boss. "I thought you were watching the dice."

* * * * *

Two policemen approached a man lying on the beach in Atlantic City.

"We're looking for a drowned man," one policeman said.

"Really?" asked the man surprised. "What do you want one for?"

* * * * *

A Las Vegas showgirl explained her engagement to a Texan high roller.

"I prefer men who go for the refined things in life. Like oil."

* * * * *

A magician in a Las Vegas showroom had a terrible accident while sawing his pretty assistant in half. After the show the assistant left the act and moved to Houston and Dallas.

* * * * *

A man approaches a saleslady in a casino mall lingerie shop.

Man: "I'd like to buy a present for my wife."

Saleslady: "Would you like to see something in silk stockings?"

Man: "Well, let's see about the present first."

* * * * *

Casino personnel manager to job applicant: "Retirement plan? I wouldn't worry about that. You'd be out of your mind to work here that long."

* * * * *

A spacecraft from Mars lands in a Mississippi casino parking lot. A Martian stepping out of the spacecraft sees a flimsy clad showgirl and says, "Take me to your leader--later."

* * * * *

A sailor, an accountant, and a casino manager die and go to heaven. St. Peter meets them at the gate and tells them that they would have to pass a simple test before entering.

He asked the sailor, "What was the name of the ship that hit an iceberg and sank?"

"The Titanic," answered the sailor.

"Correct," said St. Peter. "Enter."

Turning to the accountant, he asked, "How many people went down with the ship?"

The accountant answered "1500."

"Correct," said St. Peter. "Enter."

Then turning to the casino manager, he said, "Name them."

* * * * *

Old Gambler's Saying: You can fool all of the people some of the time and some of the people all of the time. The casinos consider this good odds.

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: