Gaming Guru

Jest for Fun

A. "I hear that slots in the future will feature musical scores from the classics."

B. "Yeah, and with my luck, I'll probably get a slot with Mozart's Requiem, hymn for the dead."

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A Tennessee hillbilly is reading a newspaper: "It says here that some Englishman lost over 100 pounds in just one turn of a card."

"Sakes alive," said another hillbilly. "I don't believe anyone could lose so much weight that fast."

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A curious patron asked a casino personnel manager why he preferred married men for blackjack dealers. "It's simple," said the manager. "Married men don't get so upset when they're yelled at."

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I always go to the same casino. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

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Losing at slots is like two of the Seven Dwarfs. When you lose, you become Grumpy. And if you keep losing and don't quit, you have to be a little Dopey.

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A blackjack dealer broke under the strain and was sent to a state asylum. After he had been there a while, a fellow dealer visited him.

Visitor: "Hi, Jim. How are you doing?"

Dealer: "I'm doing just fine."

Visitor: "I suppose you'll be coming back to the casino soon."

Dealer: "What? Do you think I'd leave a place like this to go back to work in a casino? You must think I'm crazy."