Slotpourri

27 November 2000

By Larry Mak

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All slots are alike. But they look different so you can tell them apart.

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Chasing after a megajackpot is a difficult pursuit.

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Casinos prove the old saying that when you get something for nothing, you're paying a high price for it.

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Poker is a game in which a good deal depends on a good deal.

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A lot of the people you see in a casino get their only exercise by pushing their luck.

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The only certainty about gambling is its uncertainty.

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My wife is an obsessive slot player. If heaven doesn't have slot machines, she ain't going.

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In a casino, an ounce of common sense is worth a ton of luck.

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Indians no longer scalp white men with tomahawks. They use slot machines.

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Bad luck isn't all bad. It's what keeps casinos in business.

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A wonderfully consoling thought about losing at slots is that when you look around, you'll always see someone who's doing worse.

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The casinos' emphasis on being a place of fun and entertainment is to encourage their patrons who feel bad about losing to feel good about it.

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Money won at gambling can't buy happiness. But losing can't buy anything.