Slotpourri

27 May 2001

By Larry Mak

It's Thanksgiving Day every day in a casino. The players provide the giving, and the casinos provide the thanks.

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Casino: The great cesspool into which people's bankrolls are drained.

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Atlantic City has all kinds of gambling. If you want to take a chance in the morning, you can buy a lottery ticket. It you want to take a chance in the afternoon, you can bet on the horses. If you want to take chance at night, you can play the slots. If you want to take a chance after midnight, you can walk to the corner.

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I don't like to travel to a gaming destination like Reno or Las Vegas because they bring something into your life you never had before. Poverty.

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No opportunity to win in a casino is ever lost. Someone else takes those you miss.

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A third-grade math teacher asks a gambler's son to start counting from one. Gambler's son: "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, and king."

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Most of us know how to quit a cold slot. Few of us know when.

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If your slot playing bankroll is going to hell, the casino is often the travel agent.

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Easy street is a blind alley.

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The multicoin, multiline nickel slots are a true technical innovation. They tech every nical you got.

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Two pit bosses were watching Dickens' A Christmas Carol on TV. One points to Scrooge and says, "That boy's really making sense."