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Gaming Guru

 

Slotpourri

29 June 2000

A man returns to his hotel room after asking the casino credit manager for a line of credit. His wife asks, "Well, dear, did you get a line of credit?"

Husband: "Why, the credit manager was just like a lamb."

Wife: "Really? What did he say?"

Husband: "Ba-a-a-a-a-h!"

* * * * *

A. "I have absolutely no luck with slots, I'm giving them up."

B. "Lucky fellow."

* * * * *

During World War II, some GIs were playing poker in a British pub with some of the local men. One of the British players picked up his hand and said, "I'll wager a pound."

A GI looked at his hand, which had four aces. He said, "I don't know much about your money, but I'll see your pound and raise you a ton."

* * * * *

A deceased casino debt collector knocked on the gates of hell and asked Satan for permission to enter. "Why do you wish to come here?" asked Satan.

Collector: "I just want to collect some gambling debts from welchers who died before I could collect."

Satan: "How do you know they're here?"

Collector: "Well, every time I tried to collect, this is the place everyone told me to go.

* * * * *

Q. "Why was the invisible man depressed?"

A. "He won $2000 at a slot machine. But because he had no photo ID, they wouldn't pay him.

* * * * *

Today's slots really have some unique names. There's one called FLATTERY. It gets you nowhere. Then there's one named ENTHUSIASM. Everybody puts everything they've got into it.

* * * * *

Teacher to a gambler's son: "Billy, you should never underrate yourself. You know what underrate means, don't you?"

Gambler's son: "Yes, teacher. Seven and under."

* * * * *

Waiter to customer in a casino restaurant: "Would you like your coffee black, sir?"

Customer: "What other colors do you have?"

* * * * *

"You're cheating!" the card dealer said to one of the players.

"No, I'm not!" the player said.

"You must be," said the dealer. "You're not playing the hand I dealt you."

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: