Gaming Guru

Slotpourri

Do you know what happens to independently wealthy people who go to Las Vegas? They come back independently poor.

The House Fly

During a roulette session a fly landed on 34 red. Taking this as a good luck omen, a player put all he had on this number. The wheel spun, and the ball landed on 17 red.

"Too bad," a fellow player said. "It must have been a house fly."

A job applicant at one casino was asked what he could do.

"Nothing," he said.

"Sorry," the personnel manager said. "All the pit boss jobs are filled."

Mary had a little lamb.
Before she went to Vegas, she had a lot.

No Adrenaline Rush

MARY: "Were you excited when you won $5000 at the slots?"
JEAN: "No, I was cool and calm and collected."

Dr. Kevorkian must have been the last one to play this slot. It just died on me.

Then there's the Sultan who left a call with the casino service desk for seven in the morning.

And the size of those casinos! One is so big it's applying for statehood.

A Sure Bet

A very popular figure in the Las Vegas gambling scene died. And a large number of his gambling friends turned out for the funeral. As the preacher went on about how the deceased was a good family man, friend, and member of the community, he asked those present not to think of the deceased as dead, but just sleeping. A gambler friend in the back was overheard to say, "I have a hundred that says he's dead."