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Gaming Guru

 

Slotpourri

30 April 2000

No matter how little a slot gives you back, it's called a win. In reality, the slot is just giving you back a little of what you put into it. Unless, of course, you hit a really big jackpot. But if you put $50 into a slot and got back $30, you didn't win $30, you lost $20. Simple math.

* * * * *

Breathes there a man with soul so dead who sat at a slot and said, "When I win, I'm gonna stop."

* * * * *

A small win at the wrong slot is better than no win at the right one.

* * * * *

Your luck at any time will be either better or worse.

* * * * *

Mother to daughter: "I don't like your going to Las Vegas to marry the millionaire you're engaged to. I really believe you'd be happy with a man with less money."

Daughter: "Don't worry, Mother. You'll soon have your wish."

* * * * *

Traffic is so heavy on the Las Vegas strip, what the city needs is Dristan for the streets.

* * * * *

Some slot players are rather like a mosquito in a nudist camp. They know what they ought to do, but don't know where to begin.

* * * * *

I won't say the Atlantic City motel I stopped at wasn't a clip joint, but if you want to see the ocean, you drop a quarter into a slot and the Venetian blinds open for 30 minutes.

* * * * *

For some people there is no greater satisfaction than playing off credits someone left in a slot machine.

* * * * *

A man goes up to the VIP check-in counter at a Reno casino.

"Get in that line over there," the reservations clerk said.

"But I'm a VIP," said the man. "And I don't have to stand in line."

"I know that," said the clerk. "That's the line for people who don't have to stand in line to check in."

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: