Gaming Guru

Slotpourri

A tourist spots a friend playing slots in a Strip casino. "Hey, Bill. Nice seein' you. How's your luck?"

Bill: "Rotten."

Tourist: "And how's your wife?"

Bill: "About the same."

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When you see some of those luscious showgirls in Las Vegas, you can understand why they're the only ones in show business to leave the audience asking for less.

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Wife to husband: "Dear, I saved $50 by not playing the quarter slots this morning."

"That's good," the husband replied. "But you could have saved more by not playing the dollar slots."

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The one crop that is harvested green in the Mojave Desert is the tourist in Las Vegas.

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What's great about the American casinos is the sheer equality. Where else do you find a place where the rich and the poor have the same opportunity to go broke? Everyone's an equal opportunity loser.

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Two men were chatting at a country store in North Dakota.

"I heard that Luke Williams has gone to Las Vegas. Do you reckon there'll be enough going on to suit him?"

"Can't rightly say," said his friend. "Just to be sure, he took his checkerboard with him."

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A case of relativity. When a player sits at a winning slot for an hour, it seems like minutes. But let him sit at a losing one, and it seems like forever.

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Talk about switches. I saw a girl sitting at a feature casino show with a neckline so low, she spilled all over a drink.

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A seedy-looking man was checking into an off-the-strip motel in Las Vegas.

"I'll have to ask you to pay in advance," said the manager. "Your luggage is too emotional."

"What do you mean, emotional?" asked the guest.

"I mean," said the manager, "that it's too easily moved."

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Many casino goers look on casinos as an enemy. But they fight a no-win battle. Too much fraternizing with the enemy.