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Gaming Guru

 

Slotpourri

28 October 2001

The parking situation in Las Vegas is impossible. I was telling a cop the other day, "You're giving me a ticket for parking? You should give me a medal."

* * * * *

Slot playing is a lot like magic. Now you see it, now you don't.

* * * * *

Witness: "John Smith."

Cop: "OK," said the cop. "Gimme your real name."

Witness: "All right. Put me down as Donald Trump."

Cop: "That's better. You can't fool me with that John Smith stuff."

* * * * *

I won't say how I did on my vacation in Reno. But my wife said that we're the only family on the block with a breadloser.

* * * * *

Four ghosts were playing poker when a fifth ghost opened the door and came in. The wind from the opening and closing of the door blew all the cards off the card table. Annoyed, one of the ghosts said to the newcomer, "Why don't you slip under the door like everyone else?"

* * * * *

Teacher to gambler's son: "What comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb?"

Gambler's son: "A slot player with a system."

* * * * *

Heads and Tails. A game in which a sharper selects a sucker and plays, saying, "Heads I win, Tails you lose." (John Wilson Croker (1780-1857)

* * * * *

It's Thanksgiving Day every day in a casino. The players provide the giving, and the casinos provide the thanks.

* * * * *

The invisible man returned to his casino hotel room at 3:00 a.m. after losing $2000 at the tables. His wife woke up and demanded to know why he was so late and how much he lost. "Oh, I didn't lose much," said the invisible man. "Just a few hundred."

"Don't try to fool me with that ridiculous story," said the wife. "When you lie, I can see right through you.

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: