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Gaming Guru

 

Slotpourri

30 November 2001

The saying "it's better to have loved and lost" describes an unlucky gambler on his honeymoon.

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Sign seen above entrance to a Puerto Rican casino: SE HABLA YOUR BANKROLL.

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Atlantic City has all kinds of gambling. if you want to take a chance in the morning, you can buy a lottery ticket. If you want to take a chance in the afternoon, you can bet on the horses. If you want to take a chance at night, you can play the slots. If you want to take a chance after midnight, you can walk to the corner.

* * * * *

It's a shame that the small inner voice in your head that tells you when to quit doesn't always speak your language.

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Personally, I detest gambling. I'm glad that Hawaii and Utah are the only two states in the U.S. that have not legalized gambling. Although I did hear some talk about Hawaii legalizing gambling. And I'll bet 2 to 1 they won't.

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He who breaks the bank today will assuredly return to be broken by the bank tomorrow. (Francois Blanc - Founder of Monte Carlo)

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A lady tourist on her first visit to Lake Tahoe asked a casino employee where all the big rocks near the lake came from.

"A glacier brought them," said the employee.

"But where is the glacier?" asked the tourist.

"Oh, it probably went back to get more rocks," said the employee.

* * * * *

The girl I met last night reminds me of a deck of cards a little mixed up, but stacked!

* * * * *

Thinking is the hardest work there is. Which is the particular reason why so few people in a casino engage in it.

* * * * *

Two avid slot players, Helen and Jean, were talking. Helen said, "I wonder if there are casinos in heaven." A short while later, Helen fell ill and died. One day she appeared to Jean and said, "Jean, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that there are casinos in heaven. The bad news is that you're scheduled to play in a slot tournament there this coming Friday."

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak:

Larry Mak
Larry Mak is a former science writer at the California Institute of Technology and he is currently a freelance gaming author.

Books by Larry Mak: